Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

Well - here we are again - another week, another recap. This episode was going so well...so well...and then it all crashed and burned at the end. And it almost made me not even want to recap the episode because it frustrated me so much. The title (Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken) is almost crass...

But...some aspects of the episode were really good, so I will trudge on and hope that this Sunday's episode will be better. I feel like I seem to be saying that a lot this season*....

Braavos: Love the Way You Lie Edition - This week Arya's story continues in Braavos; we find her where we left her, washing corpses in the House of Black and White. She's tired of this, just like she was tired of sweeping the floors. The waif who has been antagonizing her on an almost daily basis tells her she still isn't ready to be "no one"...the waif tells her she was just like her once: the daughter of a Lord of Westeros, unloved and mistreated by her father's second wife. She hired the Faceless Men and her Father was a widower once more; she's been serving the Faceless Men ever since. Arya thinks they are bonding but the girl has reeled her in with the story and asks her "was that the truth or a lie?" Her point being - Arya can't lie convincingly and that's key to the game.

She is tired of all this...

Later in the night, Jaqen comes to her room and begins to quiz her about who she is - every time she lies, he strikes her with a cord. Arya grows enraged and lets him know she's done playing their games. The next day while washing the floors, a man brings in his daughter: she's been ill all her life, she's in constant pain and he's sought out every option for healing to no avail - he wants her pain to end. Arya approaches the girl and spins a clever story; she too was sick and her Father brought her to the House of Black and White. She drank the water and was healed. Arya helps the girl drink the water and in doing so, offers her a peaceful death and a release from her pain - and obviously shows that she can lie a bit better than everyone thought. She's brought to the room of faces by Jaqen - she isn't ready to become no one, but she is ready to become someone else. 

And yes - this was somehow more creepy than I'd imagined it when I read the books...

Dorne: I Can't Even Edition - Of all the storylines this season, this one has been pretty fun but also completely ridiculous. This episode, the action in Dorne took the cake for being absolutely insane - and not in a good way.

Right - this will all work out 100% fine.

Jaime and Bronn, dressed in stolen uniforms of Dornish soldiers are able to simply ride into the Water Gardens of Dorne, no fuss, no muss. They walk right up to Myrcella and Jaime asks that she please come with him (she says "Uncle Jaime?? Sure kid...he's your "uncle"...keep telling yourself that) but she's having none of that and neither is her intended, Trystane, who draws his blade. 

Of course, at the exact same time that Jaime and Bronn infiltrate the Water Gardens, the Sand Snakes arrive and a battle royale (if you can call it that) ensues. After some sloppy fighting on all sides, the real Dornish soldiers arrive with Areo Hotah - who's ax comes a little too close to Jaime's neck - Jaime, Bronn and the Sand Snakes are arrested. The most important thing to take from this scene? Bronn got cut on the arm by one of the Sand Snakes blades; if you think that blade wasn't poisoned, well you haven't been paying attention to the show. Oberyn Martell was called the Red Viper because he used poison - and his daughters are no doubt well versed in his methods.

This is all so futile - the story line I mean...

King's Landing: Trading Barbs & Digging Graves Edition - Kings Landing is still neck deep in the turmoil that has been wrought by arming the Faith; Olenna Tyrell has returned to the Capitol in an effort to see her grandson Loras released from prison and Cersei continues to dig her own grave without realizing it.

Littlefinger meets with Cersei and unspools quite a bit of information - Sansa is alive and in Winterfell, she will shortly be married to Ramsay Bolton and together they will hold the North. Cersei is ready to send riders to take her head but Littlefinger cautions that she wait: Stannis is also in Westeros and marching on Winterfell. Littlefinger would prefer that they wait for the Boltons and Stannis' army to battle it out and then Littlefinger will send the knights of the Vale to challenge the victor, claim the North and give Sansa Stark to Cersei - all he wants in return is to be named the Warden of the North.

At this point, I have no clue what Littlefinger's end game is - does anyone? He smartly tells Cersei he "I live to serve" but she's not smart enough to realize that he lives only to serve himself.

These two - great conversation...

They're both so sassy...

Later in the episode, King Tommen and Queen Margaery are joined by Cersei and Lady Olenna Tyrell to witness the "religious inquest" being put forth to Loras Tyrell. Loras denies all acquisitions of homosexuality that are leveled against him and is backed up by his sister Margaery, who also denies any claims that her brothers has done wrong. The Faith Militant then bring in Olyvar, one of Loras' most favorite "friends" and Olyvar confesses everything - he's been with Loras on numerous occasions and he can prove it; Loras has a birth mark quite high up on his thigh. Loras lunges for Olyvar but is quickly snatched back up by the Faith Militant - who also arrest Margaery - it does not matter if you're Queen, the Gods judge all people justly.

King Tommen is of no help - Margaery screams for him to help her but he's so young and clueless, he sits in a bewildered state unsure of exactly what to do. Cersei has a knowing grin; she's getting exactly what she wants from all of this but she should really watch her back. She armed the Faith and I'm almost certain she'll be who they come for next.

Across the Narrow Sea: Ships, Slaves....and a "Merchant" Edition - Tyrion and Jorah have yet to come across the towns they were planning to find on the coast of old Valyria and so they continue their walk toward Meereen - a walk that is going to take a while.

The two bond as Jorah tells Tyrion why he's willing to serve Daenerys until he dies; he watched her climb into the fire with her dragon eggs and emerge unscathed with three small dragons, she was born to rule. Tyrion tells Jorah how much he admired his Father when they met at the Wall and also passes along the news of his untimely death at the hands of his men. Jorah didn't know this and so the bonding takes a break while Jorah processes this news.

We've reached the scheming & planning stage of things...

Tyrion and Jorah are later set upon by slavers - they plan to take Jorah to be sold and carve up Tyrion for his "parts". Upon hearing that the Queen in Meereen (that would be Daenerys) has reopened the fighting pits, Tyrion spins a quick story about Jorah: he's one of the greatest fighters of Westeros; instead of selling them in Pentos, they should travel to Meereen and sell him to fight in the pits. Jorah quickly elaborates on this story and tells them he killed a Dothraki blood rider. This seems to be impressive and so the slavers load Tyrion and Jorah into their boats, now bound for Meereen.

Winterfell: What was the Point Edition - I'm not even going to go into much elaboration here; this whole collection of scenes just...frustrated is really not the right word...this could have played out in so many other ways. I agree 100% with the five points made in the review done at Tower of the Hand...although I'll keep watching the show; I guess I hope there is some level of turn around.

The story at Winterfell is pretty concise - Sansa's wedding day has arrived and Myranda comes to help her take a bath. Myranda tries to intimidate Sansa by telling her about all the women that Ramsay has had before her; telling Sansa the blunt truth about what he does to the women in his life once they bore him - he sets his dogs on them, hunting them like animals. Sansa pretty quickly figures out that Myranda has been in love with Ramsay for a long time and is jealous; she tells her: I'm Sansa Stark of Winterfell, this is my home and you can't scare me.

Which makes everything after that completely tragic and unnecessary and pointless. The track Sansa's story has been on crumbled completely and it makes no sense. That's all I'll say about it - between the article I linked and the post all over the internet - I'll let someone else cover that.

Other Notes from Westeros (and Essos)
No sign this week of Daenerys or her dragons - I suppose they are all getting ready for a wedding. We also didn't see Stannis, Davos and Melisandre, Jon Snow and Sam. Brienne and Pod are, I suppose, still keeping vigil at the Inn outside of Winterfell.

I very stupidly kept thinking one of those faces at the House of Black and White were going to move. I'm not sure why...but I was bracing myself to jump, ha!

Until next week - I agree completely with Sansa. I hope they can turn it around...and fast.