Just Because....

I don't guess I really have a specific topic for today's blog - maybe just a "what I've been up to" kind of thing. I'm chilling (both literally & figuratively) at my desk at work. It could be a slow day today because at 9:30 more than half of the office is StarkVegas bound for the MSU vs. LSU game. Go Dawgs! :) I can't decide if I want it to be slow or if I want to be given a little job to do that might make the time pass faster. Right now I'm content to type away at my blog.

Why the picture of this kid? Because when you see this you automatically think of Home Alone. And I'm getting even closer to being home alone - which gives me mixed feelings. I'm excited about having my home, the place I can come home to at the end of the day & chill out with Watson (so, okay I won't be totally alone but try as I might to get him to talk, he just won't) but I'm not so excited about coming home to a house with JUST a dog. I feel this sense of apprehension that at some point it might get lonely. I don't do lonely so well. Of course, I also don't do storms very well either. The other night it started getting windy & the thunder was rolling in the distance & even at 26 (okay...almost 27) I wanted to make sure my Mom was going to be awake for a little while..ya know, just in case things got crazy. I'm gonna have to get over that one. I'm gonna have to learn to be tough - which is probably easier said than done for me. Only time will tell how me getting more tough will go, but I have a feeling that a certain verse from Psalms will become very important to me in the coming days. "In peace I will lie down and sleep,for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe." Psalms 4:8 See - that verse even has the word alone in it. So even when I think I'm alone...I know I won't really be. And that makes me think I might make it.

Speaking of my house - I am obsessed with decorating it! There are so many things I want & only so much money to spend. I still need that rug I've had my eye on for my living room & I really want to fix my guest bedroom differently & I want Adirondack chairs for my front porch...I mean, this list could go on & on. Of course, those three things are on the top of the list. The older I get, the more I understand how money works. And the way it works is simple - I get paid money & I turn around & give it to other people so that they will let me live in my house, have lights/air/heat in my house, have running water in my house, have health insurance, have car insurance, have a phone & of course, my favorite one - I pay for the time I spent in school. I essentially earn money to pay back money that was given to me to learn how to make money & support myself. Insane. I'm well aware that I am far better off than most people, but I sure wouldn't say no to finding a way to make some more money - because I always feel like I am just barely there - financially. Oh, and have I mentioned that I work two jobs? Life is crazy y'all. There is no denying that fact.

I went to Colorado recently - that was a blast! Of course, I'm not so sure getting up at 4:15 on Friday morning was a blast, but hey...I got to spend the day with Lindsey & that made it worthwhile to me. I experienced some new stuff this - of course, it seems like every time I go to Colorado I discover something (or somethings) new. Where shall I start the list?
-I'm not really into rustic. I'm more into fake rustic - as in, it might look rustic but it really costs lots of money & is fancy. We stayed in a lovely little cabin in the mountains & it was rustic. Not fancy but looked rustic. Just rustic. There were all these little "heads-up" things about locking the doors & not leaving out food because the bears & mountain lions would just barge right in if they wanted to. And then they put these doors on the place that look like in one whack a bear could just barge right in!! Sure - they had wrought iron screen doors, but there was a notice not to lock them! I mean, really?? Don't lock the one small defense against me & the wild??? Insanity I tell you. So I concluded - much as I've already known - I'm just not into rustic.
-I am pretty sure I've mentioned this before - but graceful is not something I claim to be. I used to be graceful. I took dance for 13 years - I had to have some semblance of grace to do that, right? We hiked, wandered, climbed all over the place exploring the land around our cabin. There were gorgeous rock outcrops, a lake, beautiful Aspen trees...it was all just gorgeous. It was also all on an incline. I managed to do it all in Rainbo flip flops & fare just fine. I mean, sure a plant stuck me in the toe, but life goes on. Lindsey had us climb to the bottom of the Incline, on steep rock strewn paths interspersed with rickety old wooden step. Managed it just fine in flimsy bejeweled sandal. Of course, then my Dad & I went to Florissant Fossil Beds State Park & decided to walk a mile long loop. That was totally flat. No hills. No incline. And it was on that trail that I decided to wipe out. Because obviously walking on flat ground is what gives me trouble. Scratched up my knee, ankle & even managed to tear a hole in my brand new (as in, maybe 14 hours old) athletic pants. The look on my Mom's face when I returned with dried blood on my knee & pants covered in dust...priceless. As was my Dad's horrified yelp of "NATALIE!!!" as I crashed to the ground. You can't make this stuff up people. You just can't.
-Epic sunburn. That's really all you can call a sunburn that I still have almost 2 weeks later. Saturday will be two weeks since the AF vs. SDSU game & I am still peeling from the sunburn I received cheering on the Falcons. My nose may never be the same & thankfully my right ear only stayed swollen to half it's size for a day or two.
-I also experienced a level of fatigue that I think only new parents feel. I slept restlessly on Thursday night & may have only gotten 3 hours of actual sleep before my alarm went off at 4:15 on Friday morning. I made it until almost 8 that night before the trouble really set in - but from then on...I felt like death. I'd been awake for going on 18 hours, with only 3 hours of sleep to support that much activity. I reached a point where just sitting still was too complicated. All I needed was a semi dark corner of a room that was semi warm & I would have probably completely collapsed. It was bad. So bad that I didn't even feel like eating my delightful pasta at McKenzie's Chop House. Thankfully, on Sunday afternoon when I came back from wiping out at the fossil park, I had a lovely snack of pasta waiting on me. Because time...and pasta, heal all wounds.
-Star Wars. Nothing really new here - except that I learned that I'm not the only nerdy one in my family because my sister loves watching it too! Nothing says Labor Day weekend like the power of the Force fighting it out against the Dark Side.

I guess that is really about it for Colorado. I'm sure I'll think of something else that was funny or memorable - like maybe my spazzing out mere moments before we were supposed to go into the Mollie Kathleen Gold Mine. I'm not going to elaborate on that one right now. I'll leave you wondering.

Work is ever the same. Just keep plugging along, doing insurance related stuff & trying to learn how to do things the way the higher ups want them done & keep everyone happy.

I'm trying to lose weight again - because honestly, I need to. I started drinking Slim Fast this past Monday & so far it's going pretty good. I almost had a total breakdown last night & wanted to devour the last piece of my Grandma's birthday cake...but I didn't. It takes major self control & that is something I don't really have complete mastery of yet. I'm trying to get past the hunger of the first week - usually if you can make it through that first week of feeling like your stomach is going to cave in & eat itself, it gets better & over time you don't get hungry anymore. So, I'm living for that moment - since being hungry makes me cranky.

So there you go - my life at the moment. Basically I'm hungry, hanging on to what little money I have & getting ready to go at it alone. Oh, and I'm also clumsy & sunburned. I'm also blessed though - so very blessed. Because in all these things, I am saved by the grace of God & the same grace that saved me will get me through those little day to day struggles that can sometimes seem bigger than they really are. And that makes me think that I might be alright in the end - because it all gets better at the end, so if it isn't all better, it must not be the end.

But that is the end of this post. :)

Rakes, Rats & Rednecks

Wow - I haven't blogged in forever. If you consider forever to be almost 2 months, because it has been that long. I'm a bad blogger but what can I say? I guess life just got busy, which is ironic since life is supposed to slow down during the summer. Maybe that is only true for kids & teachers? I don't know.I just know that once July started...things got really hectic, both at home & at work. Oh - and I should also mention that I was without Internet at my house for almost all of those two months - so I think I get a little break, right? Now then...what have I been up to?

I'm a homeowner now! Terrifying, I assure you. Delightful yet also terrifying because I have to worry about having to pay a mortgage every month now. I get this crazy thrill out of coming home & saying "oh, my house" but then sometimes I think "is it really mine? I haven't finished paying for it yet..." Of course, that certainly hasn't stopped me from making it my own! I'm actually loving every minute of it. I'm loving it maybe too much because I keep thinking of things that my house really NEEDS. These aren't things that I want, I promise - they are things that my house NEEDS. Like, I really need to re-do my guest bedroom because while it is all matchy & cutesy right now, it isn't the matchy & cutesy that I want it to be. And I need a rug. And I need bar stools. And I need Adirondack chairs for my porch. See. Things I NEED for my house. Of course, you need money to buy those things & all the money I have goes towards actually paying for the house, the electricity to keep it lit & cool & water to keep myself & my dishes, clothes, pet, etc...clean. See. The joys of being a homeowner. :) There are so many.

Last Saturday my Mom & I (thank goodness for that Momma, because I'd have been in trouble without her this past Saturday - and on many more occasions in my 26 years) had to put down pine straw around my house. The purpose of this was so that when it rains, since I have no grass to speak of, the mud doesn't splash up onto the siding & make it look horrible. This involved carrying a big ol blue bucket through the grove, raking up pine straw, toting the full bucket back to my house & spreading it out. Not hard or anything - just time consuming. And it makes me sweat. And I don't like to sweat. By the time we were finished, I was dusty, sticky, stinky, had a few new bug bites & a nice scratch from a stick that thought it needed to attack me. Nice. It hasn't rained yet so I don't really know how well this will work, but my Dad assures me it will. At least the next time the bottom falls out, I can comfort myself in knowing that my siding will only be wet, not wet & muddy.

Guest Bathroom

Master Bathroom

Living Room

My Bedroom

Kitchen!

Now - if you're my friend on Facebook, you've probably already seen all these pictures. Oh well. I kind of love my house, so that's life. You get to look at them again. :)

You just think  you want that mirror...

Another plus of having a home is decorating it. I'm doing a pretty good job of that already, but I'm always finding something else that I need to have in my house. I really want a cute mirror for my guest bedroom & I thought I'd found one for free. And it could have been free....if one doesn't mind wrestling a rodent for it. I mind. I mind so very much. You see - out in my front yard is a set of storage sheds that my Great Uncle is supposed to be coming to haul off - of course, he was supposed to have done that months ago & it hasn't happened yet - so we'll see. I had seen a beautiful mirror with etching at the top & I thought maybe I could salvage it, clean it up & hang it above the dresser. I wasn't really wild about going into the shed, but my Mom assured me that there was nothing in the shed & I'd be fine. She said all this while standing half hidden behind the protection of her car. I'm sure you can already see where this story is going. I crept so very slowly into the shed that a snail might have passed me up, but I wasn't taking any chances. I was just beginning to feel secure in the shed & so I reached up & pulled on on the left side of the mirror. Right as I pulled, a huge rat dove from the right side of the mirror & off into a hole at the side of the shed...I mean, I'm assuming that is where it went. Because the minute I saw that flash of fur & long creepy tail, I let out a scream that I'm sure notified all the neighbors within a 5 mile radius that someone was being brutally murdered in my shed. I turned tail (no pun intended) & ran for my life...to where my Mom was trying (and failing) to act concerned while concealing her hysterical laughter. I'm almost rat meat & my Mom finds it amusing. She says it was no big deal, but funnily enough, she didn't volunteer to go back into the shed & finish retrieving the mirror. Hmmm.

Earlier in the day, we both got a good laugh though. My Mom & I were going to the Dollar General to see what we could find on Saturday when we came upon one of those situations that just lets you know that you live in Mississippi. As we drive up the highway, we see a pickup truck pulled across two lanes of traffic & kind of stalled. We wait just a bit & the truck picks up speed & starts to move again - the lovely lady driving it hanging out the open window with her cigarette hanging out of her mouth. I happen to notice a rope attached to the end of the woman's truck & so I holler for my Mom to stop, because something is obviously attached to that rope & I'd rather not be the cause of an accident. We both look to the right to see what she could be pulling out onto the highway...and see that the rope is attached to a riding lawn mower with a large man sitting on it, smoking his cigarette & waiting to be pulled onto the highway & into the traffic. She proceeds to pull him out into the traffic, leaning out the window & hollering at him as if it is no big deal to just pull a lawn mower through the middle of the traffic on the highway. There would be pictures if only the two of them weren't so very aware that my Mom & I were watching them intently. The last we saw of them, she was creeping up the highway with him weaving in & out of lanes of traffic on his mower behind her. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. It was insane. It made for a rakes, rats & rednecks kind of Saturday, that's for sure.

So...there is what I've been up to lately. Working...and when I'm not at work, I"m probably doing some kind of work fixing my house the way I want it. Which isn't really so much work to me because I love doing it. Maybe I won't let two months pass before I blog again. I'm leaving tomorrow for Colorado Springs for a week - being with Lindsey always generates some kind of action, so I'm sure once I get back I'll have plenty to tell. Till then, hope this post gave you a laugh & I hope you have a wonderful Labor Day weekend! I know I will!

Decisions, Decisions....

I'm officially a homeowner - whoa. That is such a thrilling statement but also slightly terrifying because with a house comes house payments, appliances that could decide to give up, (and Lord knows the disaster that would be because I'd blow up the house trying to fix it) being responsible for keeping it clean & organized, (that shouldn't be too big a problem, I can be a little OCD... sometimes) & a whole lot of other stuff I'm sure. It has been a journey just getting to this point, so I'll back track a little bit & explain how we got here.

Flash back to February when my Dad announced that he'd gotten a job in Virgina. Yay! Wait...huh? What in the world was I supposed to do?? I had just started a job (a good one too) & with our economy just flourishing the way it is - that's sarcasm by the way, in case you were confused. Economincs was not my strong suit in school, but I do know enough to know our economy is insane right now - I thought that maybe I'd better hang on to it instead of jumping ship & shooting off to Virginia. I prayed lots...and lots...and lots...and then I decided I'd better start looking for a place to live. I had one little, furry friend to take into consideration.

Y'all, is he not the cutest thing you've ever seen? I mean, I guess the cutest thing with spotted fur & brown eyes? I love this little furball (and he is a furball, he sheds all the time) so much & I knew that wherever I went, he had to come too. I started looking at apartments & I thought I'd have heart failure right there in the middle of the office. Meridian thinks that it is a pretty special place to live & the price for most of the apartments in Meridian reflected that. $800 for a one bedroom?!? Do these people think I am made of money?? To answer that - I'm definitely not. Not. At. All. One of the joys of being a grown-up, as I am quickly learning is that when you get paid, none of that money is actually yours. You have to pay for housing, food, gas, credit cards bills, school loans, medical insurance...and God forbid you end up sick & have to buy meds or something happens to your car & it needs to be fixed. Then  you could really be in trouble because all of "your" money is already gone. I had no clue how I was going to pay for an apartment. And there was also the matter of my little furry friend.

 He likes to do things like this - lay out in the yard all crazy like & sleep in the sun. He also enjoys chasing squirrels & birds, digging in the dirt & running all over the yard. If we got an apartment, he would be cooped up inside all day long. That thought made me sad for him - I knew he would always be sitting inside all day while I was at work & he would get bored & depressed. I can't give my dog Prozac, so I wasn't sure how that would work. Not to mention, on top of the $800 or so bucks they were wanting for a place to live, they wanted me to pay extra a month for Watson. Essentially, Watson had to pay rent as well - and he doesn't even have a source of income. If killing moles or begging for table scraps could earn him some cash, he'd be rich...but alas, all that will get him are some dead moles & maybe a nice bite of broccoli. Yes, he eats broccoli. Green beans too. So, I looked into option two.

I was going to take up residence in my grandparent's house in Meridian. There was a yard there...actually, there is a whole lot of yard there...but there were complications. Issues arose & it just became evident that maybe option number two wasn't going to be the best option either. I thought it would be excellent to be able to re-do the house my Dad grew up in & make it new & fresh, but when that option passed I was glad to be able to take some treasures from my Grandparent's house. I have a wonderful cookbook that was my Mamaw's as well as pumpkin candy jar & an amazing marble rolling pin. It will probably flatten some dough pretty well, of course, it might also flatten an intruder's head if I needed it to. :) One of my favorite things is a wall hanging that was sent to my grandparent's from my Aunt Joyce. Aunt Joyce is my Grandpa's sister & was our closest family when we lived in California. I sat on her kitchen counter many an afternoon while she & my Mom worked on something in her kitchen. I'm not sure where I'm gonna hang it yet, but it's certainly going in my house.

Anyway - my Mom & I had been musing about how wonderful it would be if I just had some land to put a trailer on. Watson could have a yard to play in, it would be new & clean & would also be much less a month than an apartment that someone else had already lived in. That option just wasn't really looking like it was going to work out - but then, a miracle! The land next door to my Grandmother (and incidentally, a stone's throw from our house) opened up & became available for having something put on it - like say, a trailer for me to live in! Thus, the search began. I fell in deep like with a couple different places, but about two weeks ago I found THE ONE. Once I found it, there was nothing else that could compare. It wasn't what I expected to fall in love with, but I did. Sidenote - I bet that is how love is. You don't fall in love with the person you think you should/would & it's not the person you would have ever imagined yourself with, but once you fall for them, there is no going back. I'll have to get back to you on that theory.

Can I just tell you that the conversation about signing papers & all the stuff involved in owning a home flew right over my head. Escrow in taxes - like, huh? I had no clue what they were saying but thankfully I had those trusty parentals to keep me posted on what exactly it all meant. It must have been a good thing, because the deal was on! Yesterday, the deal was really on. I found myself in an office, signing papers (signing my life away according to my Dad - thanks for the optimism buddy) that made me the owner of a home. I mean, whoa. I cannot even wait to get it in place & start putting my own personal touches on it.

So - decisions were made. I think the decision I made was a pretty good one. Now then, since I'm going to be having my own place I'm going to need guests to entertain. Of course, you've got to let me get it all in order & then you can come visit & check it all out!

Oh yeah - I was gonna stick pictures on here, but I couldn't get them to link up. Of course, you are probably being directed to here from Facebook so you've probably already seen all of them. So there you go!

World Apart...but Always in my Heart

Wow - I haven't written since June 2nd! I am really falling down on the job. Things have been kind of hectic lately, but that is for another post. I've got something more important for today's post. In just two days, really...less than 48 hours, one of my very best friends is moving around the world. Like - literally, around the world. She is going to spend 14 hours on a plane. 14. Hours. And that isn't counting the first flight that is just a couple hours. She is moving to Madagascar. What do you know about Madagascar, besides what you've seen in the movie Madagascar? I've been learning a lot about Madagascar recently because 3 people that I care for deeply are going to be living there.

Want to learn about Madagascar? Well, this isn't the site for that. But you can go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madagascar & learn some stuff. The main things I know about Madagascar are 1) it's the only place that lemurs live (besides the zoo) & apparently they do not dance in the trees to "I Like to Move It". So disappointing. 2) some of my best friends are about to be there.

Steve, Nickolee & Ryleigh are going to Madagascar to be missionaries. You guys - that is amazing. Because let me be the first to tell you that just witnessing to people here at home causes me to have to step outside my comfort zone, but they are giving up family, friends, the comforts of the United States & the luxuries that it has to offer to go to a country where before they can even begin to witness to people, they have to learn the language. They have to learn how to talk to them, not just in their language but in a way that these people will learn about our Savior & come to accept him as their Savior as well. They have to learn a new language, new customs, a totally new way of life before they can even step outside their comfort zone. All I have to do is open my mouth to tell the good news. I don't even have to learn a new language.

They are going to mission to the Mahafaly people. Nickolee has told me so much about these people - people that she doesn't even know yet but she & her husband Steve have a heart for these people & for bringing them the good news of salvation. Again - you can go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahafaly & learn just a little bit. I mean, it's really just a little bit because Wikipedia doesn't know very much. I know that these people have little contact with the world outside of Madagascar & the name of their people literally translates to "those who make taboos"...so there are going to obstacles to overcome. But with God, all things are possible. Steve & Nickolee will be living in Tulear - again, go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulear & learn just a very little bit. Hey guys - did you know that Air Madagascar operates flights to Tulear? I did not. You'll have to check that our for me & tell me if the planes look safe. :) If so, maybe I'll come visit.

I have known Nickolee since we were...oh, two...three? She was one of the first friends that I made when my family moved from California to Mississippi & started going to Midway Baptist Church. We were in the same Sunday School classes & everything. I have pictures of us in our cool acid washed jeans with 80's perms at each other's 4th & 5th birthdays. It's good stuff, trust me. You'll have to trust me because I don't have those pictures in digital form. That's life. You know what? In those pictures, the kid that is sitting right beside me while I open my presents & cut my cake - it's Nickolee. My family moved our membership to First Baptist Collinsville when I was about 6 & I didn't have a lot of interaction with Nickolee for a good long time. Then high school started & somewhere along in the 9th grade, we discovered one another again. We also discovered that we were two of the very few kids that weren't concerned with drinking, smoking, partying & otherwise doing things that would dimisnish the memories of our high school years. Being labeled as the goody-goodys will make you bond pretty fast. But there was so much more to it than that & I know there is no way I would have made it through the 4 crazy years of high school without her. She wouldn't have made it without me either. And I don't say that being self-adsorbed, I say that because she has told me that on more than one occasion. Her friendship was a gift from God.

Once we graduated, we grew apart again because we were both in college at different places. It was okay though - God brought new people into my life & hers while we weren't as close. Around the time she got engaged, we connected again & we've been going full steam ahead ever since. I've seen her get married to a great guy who loves the Lord with the same passion that Nickolee does & also has a heart for missions. I've cried with her on the phone when she called to tell me she was going to have a baby - I placed my bets on it being a boy - obviously, I was wrong. Ryleigh is the cutest & sweetest baby girl & I love the time I've been able to spend with her. Nickolee & Steve are such great parents to their daughter & I know she is going to have an amazing life with these two leading the way. I mean - she gets to play with lemurs like most kids play with dogs.* I'm jealous already.

Steve, Nickolee & Ryleigh are in the process of saying their good-byes to the family & friends they love here in the States in preparation for leaving on Friday. They'll be flying to Johannesburg before going on to Madagascar. I'd ask you (the five of you who read my blog, ha-ha) to please keep them in your prayers, daily. Before they even get to Madagascar they have to make a 14 hour flight with a 6 month old. That would be trying enough for some people. Pray that the Lord would watch over them, keep them in the palm of his hand & provide protection, strength, peace, etc... Pray for easy transitions. Pray for new friends. Pray that they fall in love with the food. Pray that Nickolee is excellent at milking cows & sewing clothes from scratch - because yeah, she has to do all that too. Most importantly - just PRAY for them. If you read this blog, tell your friends to pray for them. And if you'd like to keep up with them, then just go right here: http://steveandnickoleeroberts.blogspot.com/ and you can learn all about who they are, what they are about & what they need prayer for specifically.

These are 3 awesome people who are very close to my heart. I've loved Nickolee since we were small & now I love all 3 of the Roberts. Keep this wonderful family in your prayers as they head out on a journey of a lifetime to make a difference in the hearts of the Mahafaly people so that they may come to know Jesus Christ. Because at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that you know Jesus as your Lord & Savior & everyone deserves the right to know. Steve & Nickolee are the people who feel called to give of themselves to do just that. And I think that always merits a little extra whispered prayer, don't you?

Love you guys! You're in my prayers daily & even though we are about to be a world apart, you guys are in my heart every day. :)

*Steve tells me that lemurs are supposedly really fierce & that he can't send me one in the mail & Ryleigh can't be bringing them home as pets. I don't know if I believe that. I think he wants the lemurs all to himself. We'll see. I may have to pay a visit to Madagascar to discover how fierce they are for myself....

Graceful is Not my Middle Name

This is just a short random little post. I had a laughable evening Tuesday night & thought I'd share. If you live in Collinsville, Martin, that area of the country/neck of the woods then you know that around 7ish the power went out. Well...I hate having no power for the obvious reasons but I discovered on Tuesday night that I need lights. Badly. Because without them, I'm a hazard to myself.

I was just minding my own business, all curled up in my chair, intently focused on an episode of "The Vampire Diaries" & everything just cut off. Well nertz! I was pretty into what I was watching but I figured it would just flicker & pop back on. It did not do that. It stayed off. So I meandered up the stairs to get the two whole candles we have left in the house because everything else is either A) already in Virginia or B) trapped in a box. I read for a little bit & then it started to get dim - I realized that two candles just weren't going to cut it & I went for the big guns. The oil lanterns!

This was a real deal oil lantern - not a dorky knockoff with a fake wick like the ones on the left. I would have been much safer with the ones on the left. I had these delusions of reading a book curled up by the lantern, much like the pioneers of old. Let me assure you - had I been a pioneer, they would have booted me from the settlement because I cannot handle lighting an oil lantern without causing a disaster. I'm just that talented folks.

I sat that lantern on the desk & popped off the little glass globe. I turned the wick up, but not too high & lit the lantern. Ah! Fire. Soft, glowing light. I turned the wick down a bit & carefully settled the glass globe back on the top of the lantern - making sure it was secured in all 4 prong holder thingys. I picked it up & made my way across the living room to settle my lantern on the table & myself in the chair. I was so crafty & smooth - I lit this lantern & now I'm gonna sit & read in the chair. Go me! Ha ha! I amuse myself sometimes.

As I lean forward to deposit the lantern on the table, the fire alarm starts shrieking. In a state of total shock at this sudden loud noise in the growing dark of the room, I jerk upward with the oil lantern still in my hands. The glass globe on the top wobbles & then....in what was both slow motion & fast forward all at the same time, falls into the floor with a crash. It shattered into a million pieces, of course. And then - pop! The power cuts back on.

Thank heavens the power cut back on when it did, because obviously I am not capable of handling things in the dark. I set off alarms, I shatter glass...it is a miracle I didn't completely drop the lantern. And could you just imagine that? Oil & glass everywhere, possibly flames... I mean, it would have been the kind of fail that ranks at the top of the epic scale. I got the glass all cleaned up & the candles squared away, climbed back into the middle of the chair & turned my show back on. I figured at that point, I should just stay put. It seemed the safest option. Because my middle name isn't grace for a reason. :)

Times...They Are A Changin....

"The future is scary but you can't run back to the past because it's familiar. It's tempting, but its a mistake." -Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother

So, I just quoted a fictional character in my blog. He's a smart fictional character though. The quote is from season finale of How I Met Your Mother, where Ted is contemplating how it would be so much easier to just fall back into a relationship with a girl that is so wrong for him. His reasoning? That it is familiar. He already knows so much about this girl & it would just be too hard to keep searching when he could easily go back to Zoey & just make it work. But he realizes (with the help of some friends, of course) that it would be a mistake.

The events of the past couple weeks have had me thinking about how much my life has changed in that past year. Where was I on June 1, 2010? Have things gotten better? Am I a different person? I know things have changed - the only constant thing in life is change.

June 1, 2010 - Career -
On June 1, 2010 I was a freshly minted graduate of the University of Southern Mississippi. I was certain that I could easily enjoy one last summer before having to really be a "grown-up" & then with the greatest of ease, I'd just find an excellent job. Talk about delusions of granduer. I got to have my one last summer...and fall...and most of winter. I figured out pretty quickly that having a college degree didn't seem to matter too much. No one was hiring anyone. Anywhere. At all. It didn't matter how I fancied up my resume or how many places I sent it to. It just wasn't happening. But on June 1, 2010 I wasn't concerned. I just wrongly assumed that I would have a fun summer & then get a job. Life is funny like that - you can plan all you want & it doesn't mean a thing.

June 1, 2011 - Career -
I'm happily a member of the work force & I have been since January. I've been at my job for 4 months now & I really enjoy it. I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of most everything, even if I'm not quite sure I've got the hang of dealing with all the different personalities in the office. The job I have isn't in my field. It certainly has nothing to do with Anthropology or Forensic Science - although a man in the office calls me "forensic scientist" instead of by my name & is always telling me that I should be out catching bad guys & nailing them to the wall. I'm thankful for my job - there are still people all around me that can't find a job. I wouldn't have even guessed or imagined this is what I would have been doing a year ago. And yet, here I am.

June 1. 2010 - Love -

Well - I was single in June of last year. I had high hopes for finding the right person at some point but things just didn't look too promising. I think this is probably the area that tests me the most. I'm not overtly obvious about it, but I'm kind of a hopeless romantic. I have big dreams for love, a marriage & a family - in that order. I tell myself every December 31st that maybe this will be the year. And then I wait. And in June of last year, I was doing just that. Waiting. In case you were wondering - waiting really stinks. My Mom would probably crack up at this - I always spout off the line "patience is a virtue" & she just rolls her eyes at me. Well, like the line from The Mummy - "Patience is a virtue" - Well it's a virtue I don't have right now". *sigh*

June 1, 2011 - Love -
Guess what? I'm still waiting. And it hasn't gotten any easier. There are reminders of my very single status every day & I won't pretend that at times it doesn't get to me. I'm tearing up a little bit writing this. I know without a doubt that if I didn't have family & friends that pray for me daily, this issue - which may seem so small to some - could become far more overblown & upsetting than it is. Thankfully I do have those people in my life that remind me that all in time. I had a conversation on Sunday night with two wonderful ladies - one that I have known for quite a while now & one that I see having the potential to become a wonderful friend. They encouraged me, even if they weren't aware of it. Good things come to those who wait, right? Well - I feel like I've been waiting forever, so I'm pretty sure my Prince Charming is going to be amazing.

June 1, 2010 - Life -
This time last year I was living with my parents, looking for a job & feeling somewhat aimless. I didn't have a job yet, but I wasn't too concerned with that. My parents had talked about moving & to be honest I hoped deep down that we would just leave. I was ready to get some distance from the place I've spent most of my life. I wanted a change of pace, a change of scenery...some kind of dramatic change. What is it that people are always saying? Be careful what you wish for? Right.

June 1, 2011 - Life -
I feel like the life I've been leading for 26 years is about to have a major shake-up. Remember how I said you can plan things & it doesn't matter? Life doesn't cater to your plans - that isn't how things work. My parents are moving. I'm not. I'm going to get a dramatic change - for the first time in 26 years, my immediate family will be spread across three time zones. My parents will be in Virginia, I'll be in Mississippi & Lindsey will be in Colorado. My parents are going to be 800 miles in one direction & my little sister will be 999 miles in the other direction. Also - out of the three states - Mississippi just does not sound like any fun. And yet - here I shall stay. Why? Well, I'm a firm believer that when the Lord tells you to stay put, you stay put. I've learned from experience that deciding to forge your own path & do your own thing doesn't really work out so well.

I'm trying to find a place to live & trying even harder to learn how to hang on to my money because I'm about to have to make a go at this on my own. I realize that people who are far younger than me have already accomplished this task - good for them. I wanted a change of scenery - I'm going to get one. I'll be looking off of a front porch (hopefully I'll have a front porch) that belongs to me. I'll be on my own. And I've also discovered that while there are still some places (& faces) that I would have no problem putting behind me, there are some places (& faces) that will probably become far more important to me as I step out on this new path.

Well - there you have it. How my life has changed (or hasn't) in the past year. I think there are times when I feel a certain sort pf panic set in when I think about what my life will be like in a few months. I want to turn around & run back to the comfort of the past. But, as I'm reminded by Ted, (that lovely fictional character) that would be a mistake. You've got to keep moving forward in life. So, onward to new adventures I go. I feel like so much is different & yet so many things are the same. Then again, isn't that how it goes? The only thing that stays the same is that things are always changing.





Somebody Save Me.....

Well, it's finally here. After 10 years, 217 episodes & the distinction of being the longest continuously running Sci-Fi TV show, Smallville is going to fly off into the sun tomorrow night. My Friday nights from 7-8 will suddenly open up again & the question that have plagued so many viewers for this season (and others) will finally be answered. Will he fly? Will we see the suit? Will Clark & Lois actually make it down the aisle? What is going to happen to Chloe? I have watched this show with near religious fervor for the past 5 years & I couldn't let something as momentous as the end just go by without reflecting on a show that has actually meant a lot to me over the past 5 years.

Me around the time Smallville started.

Smallville when it started.



Smallville premiered on October 16, 2001 & I was totally oblivious to it at the time. I was far too caught up in watching shows like Dawson's Creek & Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I did not even know that Smallville existed. I discovered Smallville later, exactly when I was supposed to. 5 years later - as a sophomore in college.

I started school at MSU in the fall of 2006 & I will be the first to tell you that I had set up in my mind what the experience would be like & let me tell you that it was vastly different than anything I expected it to be. And I don't mean that in a good way. I tried out different things, went to BSU a few times & just never really found a spot where I felt like I fit in. I was browsing the Internet one night after having been there a few weeks & discovered a video of Smallville scenes on YouTube. I had seen the movie "Superman Returns" (not the greatest effort, but oh well) just a couple months prior & once I realized what Smallville was about, I was intrigued. I watched video after video on YouTube, but that wasn't enough - I needed to see the actual show. I discovered that the 6th season premiered on September 28th, which meant that I had time to play catch up. I used what was meant to be school money to get on Amazon, buy seasons 1-5 & have them rush delivered to my apt. Note: Don't do things like this. I have never regretted it & might not have survived the semester without my Smallville DVDs, but my parents were NOT HAPPY about it at all.

I began having nightly marathons & managed to catch up on all 5 seasons with an alarming rate. I still wasn't having much luck finding just the right niche at school - all the people in my classes had discovered that someone or someones that they fit with in all my classes & I was one of those people that just wasn't finding anyone. I would come home & watch Smallville - which was & still is - a show about a guy just trying to figure out where he fits in the grand scheme of things. A guy trying to embrace his differences, sharpen his strengths, weed out the weaknesses & figure out where he belongs. I had a rough time for the one semester I was at MSU & I moved home in early December. MSU wasn't where the Lord wanted me to be & I had learned that. I'd also learned that Smallville probably got me through what could have been a much more difficult time. When you are having a rough time, there are certain things that just bring a little sunshine into your life & make things better. Smallville was that for me & so once I moved home, I kept right on watching it. I'm sure my parents were thrilled to now have to be subjected to weekly viewings of it, ha-ha. Smallville provided me with a pick me up when I was having a rough time.

Once I decided what my next move was, I stepped out of my house & into a whole new college experience. This time I went south to USM & along with the necessities for college life (pots, pans, a bed, clothes, etc...) I took my Smallville DVDs with me. My Mom was like "you really need to take all of these?" And all she got was a look. Of course I needed them. I had some of the most wonderful times over the next three years at USM & once again, Smallville brought about something unexpected. Friends. I quickly discovered that my friend & roommate Kristen was a Smallville fan & in turn, she introduced me to some other people who were also Smallville fans - although they probably weren't attached in quite the same way I was. Each week when Smallville came on, my new friends came over. We all watched together & as Clark Kent grew up our friendships grew as well. I found people that I could trust, rely on, talk to & just have a good time with. Who knows if we would have been such good friends had we not had Smallville to bond over? Smallville helped me find friends when I was starting out in a new place.

Smallville...through the wise words of some of the characters, courtesy of the writers...hastaught me some valuable things. A show is always good if it can teach you some things.

"We all make mistakes - it's how we come back from the mistakes that matter" -- Jonathan Kent
I would like to personally thank whatever writer coined that phrase. It could not be more true. Mistakes are a part of life. They are a part of being human. They are a part of being Kryptonian too apparently. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes I make numerous mistakes in one day. Sometimes the mistakes that we make are huge & have the potential to change the course of your life forever. It is those kinds of mistakes & the reaction you have to them that makes you into the person you are going to be. A mistake that seems to be the end of the world, if handled correctly can be the start of a whole new world. It all depends on how you come back from the mistakes you make. Side note - I wouldn't trade my Dad for anything, but if I was forced at gunpoint to choose someone as a new dad, Jonathan Kent would be it. He is awesome. Just sayin.

"No matter how hard we try to fight it we will always return to our true nature" -- A Luthor
I know - fail. I can't remember if Lex Luthor said this or Lionel Luthor but that doesn't change the point. You are who you are, so it better be somebody good. I realize that people change but I also believe that deep down - the person that you are at your worst is the person you truly are. There are some people who are wonderful when things are going good & life is great, but give them adversity & they change. A person will revert to their true nature when they are dealt a tough hand; that is the time when a person's true colors show. So make sure that the person you are when you're at your worst is the person you also are when you're at your best. Because you always return to your true nature.

"A Hero is made in the moment" - Clark Kent. Truer words were never spoken. True heroes, like the men & women of our military, fire fighters, police officers, etc... These people don't sit around & think about how to make sure that they look good. They work hard & when the time comes & they are called into action they do their job. They do their job without wondering if they will be praised. They do their job knowing that it may cost them their life. They do their job because it is the right thing to do, not because they foresee the possible fanfare & accolades that could come with the job. A hero is made in the moment & the choices that they make. Superman is a fictional hero but our world is filled with true heroes that save lives every day. They are made in the moments that define lives.

Those are just three of my favorite quotes. There are so many though. So many that if I wanted to I could make this post last for paragraph after paragraph. I won't do that though because I'm betting that out of the 5 people that read this (side note: I only have 5 followers but apparently more people actually read the blog. Who knew?) ....well, none of you are probably Smallville fans. That's cool. You're missing out though. :)


 



The final thing the Smallville has left me with - I'm on the hunt for my very own Clark Kent. He doesn't have to be able to fly, shoot fire from his eyes, run faster than a speeding bullet...he doesn't have to be able to do any of those things. Those are things that Superman does. I want Clark Kent. And yes, I know...Clark Kent is Superman. So give me the powered down version. He doesn't even have to have dark hair & piercing blue (green? Tom Welling has green eyes, Clark Kent has blue...I'm so confused) eyes. My Clark Kent could be a red head with brown eyes - that's cool. I'm just waiting for him. If you want to know what kind of guy my own personal Clark Kent is, you'll need to find an episode from season 9 or 10 of Smallville. Watch the way Clark Kent treats Lois Lane & you will have your answer. So, I'll wait. Because I know he's on his way & hey - it even took Superman a little while to figure out the super speed thing. So maybe he's just gotta get a handle on that.

Well - I guess that's all. I have loved watching Smallville for the past 5 years. I managed to cram 10 years worth of TV into 5 & it was great. Not sure yet what I'll do this September when there is no new story in the continuing saga of Clark Kent, Lois Lane & Lex Luthor...among numerous other characters. I'd like to think that I've discovered little parts of each character within myself at some point over the past 5 years. The loyal friend like Chloe, the never backs down Lois Lane, the scheming Lex Luthor & yes, even the super heroic Clark Kent. What do I want out of the finale tomorrow night? I want the suit. I want flight. I want Clark & Lois to walk down the aisle to their happy ending & I want Clark to vanquish the villain & save the day. In short - I want it all. But hey - Clark Kent is destined to be Superman. Surely he can pull off a Super finale?